Do you believe that there is one person out there meant just for you? That if you keep looking, you’ll eventually find this person who will bring you happiness for a lifetime? These are the beliefs of Glynn DeMoss Wolfe – a world record holder of 26 marriages. Glynn once said, “Marriage is like stamp collecting. You keep looking to find that rare one.” But for many, searching for a spouse is like searching for a needle in a haystack. For them, only that one person in the world can make you truly happy. You will experience significant emotional pain during the course of marriage. The truth is marriage is not so much about finding the right spouse. It is more on finding the right person.
Here are some helpful ways for you to consider if you have begun to wonder whether you married the right person or not:
Marriage is about building a happy healthy relationship with the person that you love.
If you enter into marriage expecting your spouse to fill a void in your life or to be the one to give you the happiness you think you deserve, you will be sorely disappointed. Coming into a marriage as a whole, is essential in building a healthy relationship. Remember, Marriage is not about finding a spouse who you think will complete you – It is about learning contentment as an individual and being open to seeing how you can contribute to the overall marital bliss that you both can enjoy as a couple.
Marriage is NEVER one-sided! It is always about teamwork!
Being married is not so much about what our spouse can do for us but what we can bring into the marriage. In any conflict, it always helps to see how we have contributed to it. It is so important to resist the urge to be defensive but instead work at being more self-aware to see how we could have done things differently to avoid contributing to the conflict. Marriage is not akin to being in a boxing ring where two people slug it out to have their views heard. It’s about envisioning yourselves as a team – working together to build that strong and healthy marriage you’ve always longed for yourselves.
Marriage is all about making choices and not just relying on feelings.
Marriage is more than just a feel-good feeling, it is a commitment based on a choice that you have made. It is dangerous to rely on feelings alone. There will be times where we don’t feel like being loving towards our spouse or feel like forgiving the wrongs that they have committed against us. However, if we choose to look at our spouse through different lenses and instead opt to see how we can play a part in changing things in the relationship for the better, you might be amazed at the wonders it can do for your marriage.